Reviewed by: Eric R. Lowther
Posted by: Root Rot

Cannibal Suburbia (2008)
Written and Directed by: D.A. Jackson and Jean-Luc Syndikas
Hey kids! It’s Eric R Lowther aka biguglyhairyscary welcoming you back to the Witch’s Hat blog. Today I’m going to look at the 2008 Aussie indie piece of… uh… “filmmaking” known as “Cannibal Suburbia”, starring Donkey Punch Disco, Secret Mango and a bunch of others that make up the Australian production group Pleasant Productions. This is a trilogy-styled project that, quite frankly, doesn’t live up to its title or expectations. Why’s that, you’re asking? Well, let’s take a little look-see, shall we?
Synopsis;
The three separate bits are, for lack of a better term, “anchored” by bookends and story intros from Donkey Punch Disco and his gimpish pal, Secret Mango. These bits are recorded in black & white, though I’m not necessarily sure why. The style certainly didn’t add to the idiocy displayed by Donkey’s banter and Mango’s mute gesturing and physical acting. If it was an attempt to be edgy, it failed. Miserably. The basic premise is that poor Secret Mango is under the weather and his buddy Donkey Punch is taking care of him. So, after he purees a meal of what looks like beans and small animal he proceeds to read Mango a few stories from a book called “Cannibal Suburbia” to make him feel better and as a way to segue into the separate bits.
Hey kids! Fun Fact; a “donkey punch” is defined as punching your sex partner in the back of the head just before orgasm, causing an involuntary contracting of the muscles in the anus or vagina that heightens the orgasm for the non-punched partner. This actually makes sense in terms of the thusly-named character/actor here, as listening to disco is quite similar to getting punched in the back of the head by some asshole. It is also apt since in watching this movie you will have several sensations of someone punching you in the back of the head. Don’t be alarmed if this happens as the chances of someone actually doing this to you are low (depending on your own special circumstances, of course), this is most likely only your brain trying to tell you to turn the damn thing off. Anyway…
The first tale is just all over the fucking place and seems to have something to do with a drug deal gone wrong and a house party where a bunch of people in and around it get killed for no apparent reason other than it was in the script. There is no cannibalism.
The second tale seemed a bit more fleshed-out and had the best of the movie in terms of acting and script and dealt with the concept that we all have a “doppelganger”; an exact physical match to ourselves somewhere out in the world. What would you do if you found your exact double? Well, if you’re these guys you decide to pull a prank on him without first checking if your doppelganger has at least the same level of sanity as you. This was the best of the bunch, but considering the bunch it’s in that’s not saying much. There is just a little bit of cannibalism.
Lastly, we come to a cautionary tale about picking up strange chicks in a club called “Snuff”. Right from the get-go, you know what’s going to happen to the poor, horny schmuck. I think even he knows it, but the script was so poor he probably couldn’t figure it out completely until he’s in the woman’s clutches. It turns into little more than a weak attempt at torture porn ala “Hostel”, which I thought was also a huge steaming pile but is another review. There is no cannibalism.
Hey kids! Fun fact; it never ceases to amaze me how big-budget and indie shoestring guys alike refuse to acknowledge the physics of the real world, with this particular film showing more than a few examples of it. No human-sized target can take a round from a .12 shotgun from three feet away and remain on their feet, and a regular pair of office scissors will not chop off a penis in one quick snip that takes two seconds etc etc… oh… did I go too far with that last one? If I did, then you probably shouldn’t be watching this movie or even reading this blog for that matter…
Now let’s have a look at the nuts and bolts of the thing. This is indie shot-on-video, meaning the director(s) felt they had to shoot it with no real skill and just a bunch of jump cuts and fuzzy camera angles to try and artificially heighten the few bits of action or intensity they try to show us. I’ve said this so many times it should be a mantra, but being edgy doesn’t mean you sacrifice quality in terms of the shooting or the script. That’s just lazy. I understand avant-garde and non-traditional styles quite well, and this one was just trying to be different for the sake of being different without some higher ideal in mind to explain it. There are a few interesting scenes and the acting is at least passable in most of the acts with a few bright spots here and there, but those bright spots aren’t enough to save the rest of it or bring a rambling script under control. Besides, that burden shouldn’t be placed solely on the actors. That’s the writer and director’s job. There is a bit of blood and a few physical effects in the movie and these were handled surprisingly well and not too over-the-top given the subject matter. All in all, it seems they know how to string a movie together, they just don’t know when they should.
Now on to the real question; is it any good? If you’re a fan of indie torture/surreal horror then you may get more out of this one than I did, likewise if you’re a fan of the Aussie indie scene. The guys behind this one are fairly well-known in their country’s underground cinema and also publish some adult comics and graphic novels that feature a few of the characters seen in this project. I have a particular soft spot for anthologies, especially when they get tied together in interesting ways or have a strong presence in their host(s) that can keep even completely diverse stories under a collective roof. Sadly, Donkey Punch and Mango just can’t do that here. Their own bits are goofy and watchable, but they try too hard. The bits seemed forced and don’t flow well, nor do they do much to introduce the tales or recap them. Also, there’s just a fuckton of full male frontal nudity here with very little reciprocation from the finer gender. If that’s a problem for you, I suggest you leave this one be. As a special point of contention, the title of the movie is “Cannibal Suburbia” and the film has next to no cannibalism when its few scenes and the inferences of it are compared to giving the entire film that particular name. If it would’ve been “Donkey Punch Disco and Secret Mango present Goofy Shit You’ve Seen Before but Now with an Australian Accent”, I probably wouldn’t even have given it a chance, so it automatically loses points with me for its misleading title.
Still, if this one sounds like something for you, you can stream it through Netflix (though the physical DVD hasn’t hit their distribution centers as of this writing) and you can get it from Amazon or your usual online outlets for around $8.00 or as part of a set of three indie horror films on Ghastly Grabs Vol 5 for about $24.00. Unless you’re an Aussie indie aficionado I would strongly suggest streaming or borrowing this one first before adding it to your shelf, as it certainly won’t be for everyone.
Well, that’ll wrap things up for this time around the block. Make sure you’re keeping up with the Witch’s Hat family of blogcasts and stop by our forum over at Killer Reviews where you can talk about the ‘casts, the blog and see photos of Root Rot dressed up like the biker from The Village People. So with a tip of my imaginary hat to Keely, Root, Kyle, Misfit Boy, Grey and all the rest this has been biguglyhairyscary saying, see ya, kids.
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Thanks for the review! Even though you didn’t like it, this was a fun read.
May I add stay the heck away from the DVD. It’s cropped, pixelated and a general mess. Not sure what it’s like on Netflix – could be the same. And also, we are not well-known in Australia… at all!
Sorry for your bad experience. Not to make excuses, but this is barely a film. It’s two of my student films and one of Jean-Luc’s smashed together with a wrap around shot in two days!
Cheers!
Dave
I’m glad you enjoyed the review more than I enjoyed the movie. Let me know if you take a stab at making movies again and we’ll see if redemption occurs. :)
I’m making shorts and TV these days. But I might be making a real feature next year. I won’t be crossing my fingers for redemption though! :)