Category Archives: Eric R. Lowther Content

Review of Fields of Rot / Zombie Hunter Web Series by Eric R Lowther

Written & Reviewed by: Eric R. Lowther

 

 

Fields of Rot / Zombie Hunter (Web Series)

Dedman Productions LLC

Written/Directed/Created by: Jesse Dedman

Hey kids, it’s Eric R Lowther aka biguglyhairyscary, scanning the web to bring you some fresh genre content in the form of two web series’; “Fields of Rot” and “Zombie Hunter”. The first, “Fields of Rot”, shows the beginning of a hell-borne zombie epidemic while the second, “Zombie Hunter”, is a web series that sets out to spoof both the zombie genre and outdoor sports shows that seem to vie for attention with the televangelists every Sunday morning. While I was asked to review “Zombie Hunter”, errata on the creator’s blog suggest it was inspired by “Fields of Rot”. I don’t really see the connection since they share none of the same characters, story or even production values (save for episode 3 of “Fields of Rot”, the best of the offerings from that series), but I gave them a watch and have included my thoughts here as well.

Fields of Rot

“Fields of Rot” follows a geeky zombie blogger teamed with a self-described “psychotic” bass player trying to find the Gates of Hell, the source of all the zombie troubles. The Gates have been opened by an inexperienced Ouija board enthusiast and the Satan-inspired dead are now free to roam the earth. There are three main and two accessory episodes of the series available.

Zombie Hunter

Nathan Greene is a self-appointed zombie hunter living in a reality where zombies exist but haven’t gotten a foothold into the apocalypse, thanks to the stalwart efforts of brave men like him. Nathan is so good at what he does, or at least he thinks he is, that he’s become the star of his own huntin’ show ala Ted Nugent complete with southern accent and cowboy hat. There are currently five episodes available ranging from four to five minutes long that cover such topics as an introduction to zombie hunting and camouflage, a side parody of body sprays and their effects on zombies of the fairer sex, and two episodes dealing with the competitive side of zombie hunting with Nathan’s arch rival, Billy Boone.

Now, let’s break these down for you. First, “Fields of Rot” is based on a journal-styled novella Mr. Dedman wrote and is available at Amazon. I must admit I’m not familiar with the work so I can’t compare the two, but the premise seems sound enough that zombie fans may want to fork over the $0.99 and have a gander for themselves. As for the web series, it doesn’t really seem to know where it wants to go. The first episode comes off as zombie video game homage, even going so far as to give us scores when zombies are killed and hero stats.

The second episode is more of the same, though thankfully without most of the game trappings. The third episode is a big departure from the previous two, and coincidently the best of them, and gets much more real in both story and presentation as it moves away from the world-threatening, yawning gates of hell and gets more personal. The rest are more recapping the story and character points than anything else.

The technical side of things is a little hard to digest, with much of the first and last episodes suffering from the digital addition of outdoor backgrounds while obviously being recorded indoors. The look and feel of the series is much better when they move things off the impromptu sound stage and into the real world as in episode three. Though the sound quality is still a bit on the soft and echo side, the use of real sets and actual movement gives the actors more reality to work with and makes for a much better production. Re-recording the dialog, with even free audio software and a cheap mike, and dubbing it back in would’ve been preferable to the current quality. If you’re a zombie and/or indie web series fan I’d certainly tell you to give this series a look and/or check out Mr. Dedman’s novelization of his world. Non-zombie fans or those that can’t hack “House of the Dead”-styled amateur film may not get as much out of it.

Now, on to “Zombie Hunter”; as I said before, I’m not feeling the supposed connection between the two series’. Where “Fields of Rot” tries to establish a foundation as to where the zombies come from and gives them a satanic overtone, “Zombie Hunter” comes off as much more a fun parody of the genre. While it shares actors with “Fields of Rot”, most notably Elvis Quintero as the lead Nathan Greene, it doesn’t even try to have an insidious back story other than zombies exist and it’s Nathan’s job to kill them and show us how he does it. All of this is done in a southern-styled drawl with heavy nods to hunting shows and the ‘Nuge. Here, we’re treated to Nathan’s running commentary as he tracks and faces the dead and makes enemies along the way with another zombie hunter. Quintero’s acting chops are what you would expect for the medium and genre, but it’s obvious he and everybody involved were having a hell of a good time putting this together so I’m more than willing to cut slack where slack is due.

Technically speaking, “Zombie Hunter” is an improvement over “Fields of Rot”, mostly because Dedman doesn’t rely on inserted backgrounds and fake outdoor themes. The series is mostly filmed outdoors, removing many of the digital background issues of the previous series. It does create new sound problems though, especially with wind noise and quality issues. Both series use CGI to make their airsoft guns and blood splatters come to life and suffer from the same quality issues here we’ve all come to expect. The few instances of static physical effects are actually pretty good and stay with the “less is more” approach, though, and it’s obvious Dedman and his crew took care to make them presentable for the camera.

Overall, “Hunter” is the better-produced and more solid of the two series’, though at least episode three of “Fields” should really get a view as well. If you like the various and numerous “zomcom” (fuuuuuuuck….) youtube selections out there then you’ll certainly find either series (though especially “Zombie Hunter”) enjoyable. You can watch both in their entirety in under an hour, and don’t tell me many of you have so many other pressing items on your itinerary that you don’t spend more time than that playing “Angry Birds” in a day.

By all appearances, “Zombie Hunter” is still trying to get more episodes off the ground. If you’re a fan of this style of indie work make sure you stop by and give them a look. If you like what you see, drop a dime or two in the cup and help Dedman and company get more episodes off the ground, if for no other reason than to get Nathan and Billy to square off again on-camera.

Well, that wraps up my foray into the wide, wild world of web-based zombies for now. Make sure you’re checking out all the great stuff hanging around the blog… hey, looks like Rot did some remodeling around here… sorry, got distracted. Anyway, you should also be listening to The Witch’s Hat family of podcasts as well for news, views and reviews of what’s going on in the genres. With that, and a tip of my imaginary hat to Keely, Misfit Boy, Root, Kyle and whoever else is hiding behind all the little boxes, windows and embeds around here, this has been biguglyhairyscary saying, see ya, kids.

 

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Zombie Hunter Web Series

 

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Movie Review of Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2010) by Eric R Lowther

Written & Reviewed by: Eric R. Lowther

 

 

Rammbock: Berlin Undead (2010)

Written by: Benjamin Hessler

Directed by: Marvin Kren

Hey there, kids! It’s Eric R Lowther aka biguglyhairyscary taking a break from pimping my new novel, “Area 187; Almost Hell”, to say a few words about 2010’s “Rammbock: Berlin Undead”. This 60 minute infected-zombie movie is 100% German born and bred. While it’s been compared to 2002’s “28 Days Later” because of their near-identical infected, this story starts at the beginning of the outbreak and the shock factor that brings to the table unlike where we join “28 Days”, where the characters save for the lead have gained at least a basic understanding of what they face. And, unlike the certainly influential “28 Days Later”, here we find ourselves in a large, older apartment complex instead of the sprawl of London. But before we go any further, let’s get to the synopsis…

Our story revolves around Michael, a likeable electronics store employee from Vienna. The love of his life, Gabi, has left the poor working class schmuck for Berlin to chase some dream or another that seems to involve sewing a bear costume and has left him high and dry after a seven year relationship. Michael can’t accept that it’s over, so he comes to see her in Berlin with the thin cover story of coming to return her keys with the real motive of trying to patch things up. The movie doesn’t take long to get going when he finds workmen and not Gabi in her apartment. The chief plumber is obviously infected and attacks his young apprentice, Harper. Michael and Harper manage to get the infected plumber out of the apartment only to discover still more infected trolling the halls and stairwells. With nothing else to do, they barricade themselves in Gabi’s apartment while they try to figure out just what the hell is going on.

Hey kids! Fun Fact; when Michael and Harper eject the infected plumber into the hall and scuffle with a few others outside the apartment, Michael tries to get away from them by going UP a flight of stairs. He loses his backpack and cell phone in the struggle before managing to get back into the apartment with Harper. Later, when they go to retrieve Michael’s ringing phone, it’s located on the flight of stairs BELOW Gabi’s apartment…

Through interactions with neighbors across the courtyard and a radio, they learn all of Berlin is in a police state due to the unexplained infection that causes its victims to, well… you’ve all seen “28 Days Later”. From here the movie really picks up speed and plot threads involving other residents of the apartment complex when Michael and Harper figure a way out of the apartment and into the adjoining one in search of food, medicine, escape, and, of course, Gabi.

So let’s check out this fine piece of German engineering’s workings. In the traditional German fashion, there’s no waste here and the engineering is of the highest quality. The script, direction and acting are all top-notch and are so tight that director Kren and writer Hessler do in 60 minutes what most small-scope zombie movies can’t do in 90 minutes or more. The apartment complex lends itself to claustrophobia, allowing just a few zombies to really crank up the tension due to the close-quarters. Kren uses the location to his advantage to bring a dark, gritty tone to the piece without even having to try too hard.

Michael, played by German indie cinema veteran Michael Fuith, is completely believable as first a lovesick puppy and then a shock survivor, especially in the early stages when he’s more worried about the damage that’s been caused to Gabi’s apartment and Harper’s use of her silverware for improvised weapons than he is about the raging cannibals just outside the thin apartment door. The effects are good quality as well and are just enough to get the point across without having to resort to buckets of gore and blood. All in all, I’ve seen a lot of other movies with much bigger names and budgets that just don’t have Rammbock’s overall technical quality, acting chops, tight script and expert direction.

So, to the real question; is it any good? Well, if you skipped all of the above then I’ll say it’s definitely worth a watch, especially for zombie or infected fans. The DVD comes with the original German as well as English dubbing and subtitles. I personally prefer to view a movie in its native language first with subtitles and then watch it again with the English dubbing when available just to see if there are any differences. I’m happy to say that with very little exception watching with either the original German or the English dubbing will have little effect on the average watcher’s enjoyment. Even the physical dubbing itself is timed with much more accuracy than in many other movies and is yet another example of the quality of the film in general. If this one sounds like your stein of beer you can rent it from Netflix (though it’s not available for streaming) as well as Amazon (which does offer a streamed version) and your usual online outlets for anywhere from $10.00-$16.00 used and new. You can also find a few places that still offer the movie streamed, just make sure they’re of the legal variety before watching.

Well, that will wrap it up for the biguglyhairyscary. Make sure you’re checking out all the other neat-as-hell stuff here on the blog as well as on The Witch’s Hat family of podcasts. Also, make sure to get your entry in to win a signed copy of my novel, “Area 187; Almost Hell”. I mean, it’s not every day a podcaster actually invites people to imitate and lampoon them. Remember, the contest is open to other podcasters as well, and drunk dialing your entry into the voicemail line is not only encouraged but for some of you will be expected. So until next time and with a tip of my imaginary hat to Keely, Misfit Boy, Root, Kreepy Kyle and whoever the hell else may be bouncing around in here this has been biguglyhairyscary saying, see ya, kids.

 

Related Witch’s Hat links

Eric R. Lowther Blog

Area 187, Book I; Almost Hell (Now available)

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Audio reviews

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The Witch’s Hat Blogcast Episode 19

The audio companion piece for The Witch’s Hat blog.

Download Episode 19

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Show notes

Intro

- Host’s Kyle, Keeley, Root Rot, and Eric R. Lowther with the Big Ugly Hairy Scary Movie review…


Feedback

- Audio feedback from Horrorcore Bart


News

- Eric R. Lowther’s Area 187; Almost Hell contest

TWH Horror Directory


Movie discussion

- Oldboy (2003)


Big Ugly Hairy Scary Movie Review

- Beware: Children at Play (1989)


End

**Special thanks for Vaughn from Motion Picture Massacre**

Links from the show 

Motion Picture Massacre

Eric R. Lowther Blog

Area 187; Almost Hell

Horrorcore Podcast

Zombie Mob


Related Witch’s Hat links

Other Blogcast episodes

Joanie Loves TWH

TWH Horror Discussion

TWH Special Edition’s

Other Witch’s Hat Media

The Witch’s Hat Podomatic Page


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Audio Movie Review of Come Get Some! (2003) by Eric R Lowther

Reviewed by: Eric R. Lowther

The audio for the  review of Come Get Some! (2003) is from episode 6 of The Witch’s Hat Blogcast on (12/04/2010) … Episode 6 in it’s entirety is no longer available for download.

This review was Eric’s debut to TWH Blogcast and now look at mister fancy pants author man and his published bookie book.



Audio review of Come Get Some! (2003)

Directed by: Jason Griscom


or

Download review as a mp3 (right click, save link as)


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Eric R. Lowther Blog

Area 187, Book I; Almost Hell (Now available)

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Episode 7 of Joanie Loves TWH with special guest Joe Wilson From The Vampire Mob

A spin-off of The Witch’s Hat Blogcast

Download Episode 7

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Show notes

On this month’s episode of Joanie Loves The Witch’s Hat, Eric R. Lowther conducts an interview with Joe Wilson the creator of the web series the Vampire Mob. After the interview is finished, Eric gives a review of the Vampire Mob web series.

And if that wasn’t enough for ya, Mr. Lowther will announce another Witch’s Hat contest! This contest will  give the listeners of The Witch’s Hat a chance to win a copy of Eric’s book Area 187, Book I; Almost Hell.

* There will be a post on the blog soon for the date the contest will end and a date the winner is announced.


Links from the show

Vampire Mob web series

Vampire Mob on Twitter

Vampire Mob on Facebook

Vampire Mob on YouTube

Eric R. Lowther’s Blog

Area 187, Book I; Almost Hell (Now available)


Links

The Witch’s Hat Blogcast episodes

TWH Horror Discussion episodes

Wonder Twins Acticast episodes

Blogcast Special Edition’s

The Witch’s Hat Podomatic page

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Movie Review of Infection (2010) by Eric R Lowther

Written and Reviewed by: Eric R Lowther  



Infection (2010) aka “Infection; The Invasion Begins”

Written by: Bryan Brewer

Directed by: Howard Wexler

Hey kids! It’s your old pal Eric R Lowther aka biguglyhairyscary crawling across your screen once more with 2010’s “Infection”, or, as the full title says, “Infection; The Invasion Begins”. After watching I can see why they chose to use the shortened title. I’m here to tell you we don’t need any allusions to this thing having a sequel somewhere down the line.

Our story opens somewhere in the future with a reporter researching what has come to be known as the “Modern Plague”, a horrific illness of a sort that started way back on 9/9/2009. Her search leads to an old woman, Sarah, who has been locked away in a mental institution for decades. Sarah says she knows how the plague started and claims the government has kept her institutionalized for her entire adult life to keep her from talking and blowing out their carefully-crafted conspiracy. Now that her time is short, she wants to tell the tale in a movie-length flashback…

We begin Sarah’s story with our hero, Deke (writer Bryan Brewer) returning to his tiny hometown after a 10 year stint in prison for killing his stepfather. He finds his mother has disowned him to the point of cutting him out of family pictures, his high school sweetheart Sarah (Kelly Pendygraft) is dating the local failed high school jock Billy (Brian Guest), and a sheriff who looks just a little like a younger and less-sociopathic Nick Nolte (Lochlyn Monroe, who carries a surprising list of genre credits to be involved with this movie) that wants nothing more than for Deke to drop off the face of the earth and trouble his town no more. After finding all this, Deke tries to do the hero-type thing and leave town for the selfless benefit of all but runs afoul of Billy and his townie crew. This our first of many run-ins with the “I wrote the damn thing so I get to be a badass” syndrome from Brewer, and the fight goes on just long enough for us to get that point before everything really starts going to hell.

It seems a meteorite has crashed in the area, and it also seems the guy who finds it and reports it to the sheriff, and even the sheriff himself, have never seen a movie where a meteorite crashes. If they had, they’d know that it always brings trouble. This time, it brings hyper-intelligent parasites that look like penises that have been flattened by a steamroller. The townies get infected (hence the title) with the parasites during their fight with Deke and Billy demonstrates his own multi-appearing fighting style; runaway-like-a-little-bitch. Meanwhile, the guy who first found the meteor turns up dead, causing the sheriff to lock up Deke on suspicion of yet another murder in his town.

Hey kids! Fun fact; this has been turning up in a lot of the movies I’ve watched recently, too much in fact. Now, typically a sheriff is a county or parish’s top law enforcement officer as well as being charged with the task of collecting county taxes through his office. But in most horror movies that use the office the guy never seems to leave the little town. Most counties, even those with the sparsest populations, have more than one town in them. The sheriff is also an elected political office, and even in the smallest or least-populated counties the sheriff is typically far too busy with administrative and political duties to be personally out in the field hassling movie heroes and chatting with a town’s riffraff. I guess “commander” or “chief deputy” just aren’t impressive enough titles these days…

Anyway, the zombies finally break in and Ben locks himself in the cellar, where he’s forced to shoot Cooper again when he turns… oh, wait… sorry. I guess I needed a little break from talking about this movie. Deep breath… focus…

The parasites seem to sense that the movie’s badass hero has been taken off the streets and in a matter of what can only be an hour or two have infected most of the townsfolk. Even though Deke doesn’t know anything more about the flat, interstellar penises than anyone else does, the people know he’s the only one that can save them. It’s also possible the rest of the cast realized if they didn’t set the writer free to continue hogging the screen and spouting silliness he’d write them out of the film, but I’ll try to take the high road here and think the best of everyone. Once free, Deke and Sarah manage to convince the sheriff of the phallic danger besetting the town and get scientific counsel from another old high school friend, a science geek that manages to give them a powerful weapon against the invaders. From here we alternate between standard siege and escape movie modes that place us in constant danger of swooning under the intense gaze and staggering awesomeness that is Deke until at some point the thing finally ends back with future Sarah and some silliness that makes us think the threat of a sequel will only be quelled by someone making sure Brewer stays the hell away from his macBook.

Now let’s have a peek under the hood, shall we? Technically speaking, there’s not much wrong with the movie. It’s competently shot and looks as good as about any other indie shot-on-video film. The biggest technical failure would be in the oh-my-fucking-god-that’s-shitty CGI fire that pops up here and there. I’m pretty sure I could create more convincing flames with Microsoft Paint. But the movie’s real failing is in its plot and accompanying script. There are tons of plot holes here, with the first being; why would the government let Sarah live in the first place? There would be no reason to keep her around, and arranging for an “accident” decades ago would’ve been far easier and more secure than letting her sit around. But let’s just suppose keeping her kicking made sense. In that case, why the hell is a reporter allowed to just stroll in and start talking to her now? This is the very opening of the movie, and the plot holes and goofiness just go on from there. The rest of the cast does try hard to make the movie watchable, but they just can’t seem to get a scene that doesn’t have Brewer in it making wisecracks or going forth to bravely sacrifice himself in one way or another.

Of course, he never actually does sacrifice himself. Since he’s, like, a badass and all he just cocks an eye to the camera or smacks someone around and mumbles “This just isn’t my day” a few times and he lives through the scene. This is compounded by making virtually everyone else around him a flaming coward just to make Deke’s character (and by extension Brewer) look even more badass. We talked about Billy, who at one point is so afraid and distraught that he sits in a corner of a room blubbering until Deke talks him down. That’s not the only instance, though, as Billy is shown running away from even the slightest chance of harm. Problem is, Billy’s character at the start of the movie was more than ready to throw down on Deke for being a murdering sum-bitch come back to town to steal his woman. It just doesn’t fit. Hell, at one point even the sheriff’s deputy is so afraid of what’s going on he actually hands Deke his gun to go and search a room because he’s too afraid to do it himself. For fuck sake’s even the parasites are just flattened penises, because if they were shown in their normal dimensions they may have been larger than Deke’s own, and you just know there’s no way Brewer would’ve allowed that to happen. Outside of this, the dialogue is overall flat and doesn’t really give the actors much to work with, making the viewing painful at times to watch.

So, now we can get to the real question; is it any good? The only people that will really like this one will be Brewer and his family and friends, and even they watch it just to appease him. If you really need to see alien parasites create zombie-like people just pick up “Night of the Creeps” instead, ‘cause I’m sure that’s exactly what the writer did here. This is just a vehicle for a megalomaniac to live out his daydreams in a way that he can make others watch them, too. Oh yeah, and that’s another thing, too. This thing is being marketed as a zombie movie. It’s not. Not even close. Still, if for some reason you just need to see the equivalent of someone masturbating to a picture of themselves for an hour and a half you can pick it up from Amazon and your usual online sources for anywhere from $3.00-$18.00… wait… $18.00 fucking dollars? Really, Amazon? You can also rent or stream it from Netflix, and if you still actually want to see this thing I would definitely suggest renting or streaming before buying.

Time for me to ride off into the sunset, unless of course Brewer’s around and then I guess I would just be riding off into the light cast off by his machismo. Make sure you’re staying abreast of all the great content here on The Witch’s Hat blog (yes, Misfit Boy, I said “breast”. You can stop snickering now.) and stop by and see us sometime in our forum over at Killer Reviews. There’s also all the mind-blowing audio sweetness from The Witch’s Hat family of podcasts to consider as well. With a tip of my imaginary hat to Keely, Kyle, Root, Grey and Misfit Boy (J.B., I said that was enough with the snickering), this has been biguglyhairyscary saying see ya, kids.


Related Witch’s Hat links

Eric R. Lowther’s Blog

Other Eric R. Lother post

Other Witch’s Hat movie reviews



Question or comments

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Hey, Horror Community! Two of our own could use some help

Written by: Eric R Lowther 


Hey all. For those of you who don’t know me, this is Eric R Lowther aka biguglyhairyscary; zombie author, podcast contributor and all-around big ugly hairy scary fellow. But two of our own, Heather (horror and fantasy reviewer over at Double Shot Reviews) and Tony Faville (author of “Kings of the Dead” and “Avery Nolan: Private Dick of the Dead”), are going through a serious medical scare that is something a hell of a lot scarier than I’ll ever be, and will be dealing with the physical and financial ramifications for a long time to come. Our horror community is known for taking care of its own, and they could both use our help, support, and as many well-wishes as we can send them.

I have set up a paypal account for anyone that would like to make a donation to help Heather and Tony during this difficult time. You can find it at zombieshelpingzombies@gmail.com where you can also send emails of encouragement and cheer should you wish. Please pass this along to others in our horde and let’s once again prove that though we may argue about shamblers vs runners or call each others’ podcasts names we can still pull it together when it comes to taking care of our own.

Thanks,

Eric R Lowther “biguglyhairyscary”


Related Witch’s Hat links

Eric R. Lowther’s Blog

Other Eric R. Lother post


Question or comments

The Witch’s Hat Voice Mail 313 444 2611

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The Witch’s Hat Blogcast Episode 18

The audio companion piece for The Witch’s Hat blog.

Download Episode 18

Direct download

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Subscribe on iTunes


Show notes

Intro

- Host’s Kyle, Keeley, Root Rot, and Eric R. Lowther with the Big Ugly Hairy Scary Movie review…


Feedback

- Voice mail’s from Horrorcore Bart, Ryan from Video Deadcast, and Misfitboy

- Feedback from The Killer Reviews message board from Kiss the Baby 313


Discussion

- Kyle, Keeley, and Root Rot view and talk about five  different shocking video clips on the net…


Big Ugly Hairy Scary Movie Review

- Hard Rock Zombies (1985)


End


Links from the show

Eric R. Lowther Blog

Horrorcore Podcast

Video Deadcast

Killer Reviews 

Area 187; Almost Hell


Related Witch’s Hat links

Other Blogcast episodes

Joanie Loves TWH

TWH Horror Discussion

TWH Special Edition’s

Other Witch’s Hat Media

The Witch’s Hat Podomatic Page



Question or comments

The Witch’s Hat Voice Mail 313 444 2611

thewitchshatblog@gmail.com

Movie Review of Rubber (2010) by Eric R Lowther

Written and Reviewed by: Eric R Lowther 



Rubber (2010)

Written and Directed by:  Quentin Dupieux

Hey, kids! It’s Eric R Lowther aka biguglyhairyscary back on the Hat with a few words on 2010’s “Rubber” from writer/director Quentin Dupieux. It’s the story of Robert, an unbranded, un-mounted used tire discarded in a desert area that gains sentience and telekinetic powers. How and why does he develop these powers and self-realization? No reason. How is it that he can roll along the desert roads with complete self-direction? No reason. Why did I like this movie and think you will, too? No reason…

“No reason” is really what this film is all about. We open with an absurd set-up with Lt. Chad (although referred to as “sheriff” in various parts of the movie as well) giving us and a large group of what appear to be unrelated spectators a little lesson in movie rationale and logic. He cites several examples of cinematic “no reason”, such as why E.T. is brown or why two characters fall in love in a movie. In fact, his entire entrance into the movie is full of “no reason” moments as the director keeps hammering home his concept to us. I won’t give you the details of his entrance since there are plenty of web reviews out there that will do that for you, I’ll just tell you that Lt. Chad’s (Stephen Spinella of “Ravenous”, one of my favorite cannibal movies and reviewed right here on the Hat earlier this year) monologue is quietly funny, packed with absurdity and perfectly sets us up for a story about a roving used tire seeking revenge on the world at large.

The spectators mentioned play quite a large role in the movie. They are just a big group of diverse people of all ages, colors, and backgrounds. There’s “no reason” given for why they’ve all been gathered together and given super-powerful binoculars that allow them to see Robert’s entire story unfold, including when he’s indoors or otherwise concealed. We start off with “no reason” why Robert is seeking revenge and why he’s seeking it through virtually random targets starting with the desert wildlife and moving up to humans that eventually piss him off enough to go all Michael-Ironsides-Scanner-Batshit on them by exploding their heads with his awesome telekinesis. Lt. Chad as well as a few others are in on Robert’s story from the word go, and the concept involving the spectators as it relates to the story is much akin to the old adage about a tree falling in the woods; if no one is watching, does the story truly exist? There are a few other ways you can take the philosophy jackhammer to this as well to come up with your own theories involving the spectators and their relationship with the movie’s reality, but there’s really “no reason” to. We watch along with the spectators as Robert finds a small oasis of humanity in a roadside motel, finds unrequited love at first sight, suffers abuse at the hands of humans that don’t realize he is about 17 steps higher than they are on the evolutionary ladder, and ultimately sees a sight so terrible it finally explains what his revenge kick is all about.

Hey Kids! Fun fact; writer/director Dupieux is also known as “Mr. Oizo”, a composer and musician popular on Europe’s techno scene. Luckily, “Rubber” is good enough that I won’t hold creating shitty, shitty techno music against him.

Now, let’s have a look at this thing. The film is technically proficient in all aspects and features some very good physical special effects as well as some mostly-passable CGI exploding heads. And people, there are lots and lots of exploding heads in this one. Robert is an angry little tire and pops heads like zits for the slightest real or imagined infraction committed against him. Stephen Spinella’s Lt. Chad is supposed to be a bit aloof and smug, but I think he goes a little too far with it and is almost wooden in a few scenes. Other than that, the acting is overall better than average for the indie scene. I was particularly impressed with the way Robert the Tire was handled, shot and edited. Dupieux obviously knew exactly what he wanted from his vulcanized star, and through good effects and smart filming and editing the tire does actually develop a bit of a personality, especially in the first third of the movie while we watch Robert learn how to stand, roll, and kill small wildlife through his telekinesis. Yeah, I said it; the tire actually does gain a personality on the screen. Also, I would be remiss if I failed to mention the “man in wheelchair” spectator played by 80’s near-A-lister Wings Hauser. He has a particularly vital role in this one, and just from this performance I can see his chops have mellowed from 80’s brand over-acting and have found their real rhythm.

So, the real question; is it any good? Yes, it is, provided you are a fan of the surreal, the absurd, and don’t need to be led around by a movie to enjoy it. The movie’s plot is linear, so at least it has that going for it. Otherwise, you need to understand this movie is truly founded on “no reason”. Don’t expect a lot of it to make sense, or at least don’t expect it to make sense right away. It also does drag a bit from the point Robert learns how to move and pop heads until we get a few more characters introduced, but if you like offbeat projects you’ll forgive it. The movie comes in at a nice and manageable 82 minutes, but quite frankly we could’ve lost another 5-10 minutes of footage showing Robert just rolling along the desert and deserted roads. A little of that goes a long way towards trying to make us feel Robert’s isolation and loneliness, especially when a lot of the shots like this don’t really have background music to further the feeling of… wait… what the fuck am I saying? I’m trying to apply a lot more reason to this than the film really needs or wants. It’s enough to say it’s long enough to tell its story but short enough that you shouldn’t lose interest, and if you like quirky cinema and animated objects not voiced by Angela Lansbury or Adam Sandler I’d say it’s worth at least a watch. If this little movie without reason sounds like something you can roll with, you can find it on Amazon and your usual online sources for about $15.00 DVD / $15.00-$24.00 Blu-ray, and it’s available for rent or instant viewing from Netflix as well.

Well, I’m out. Make sure you’re burning more brain cells through The Witch’s Hat family of podcasts and drop by our place over at the forums at Killer Reviews where you can leave feedback about the blog and podcasts, see a synopsis of Misfit Boy’s new film project “Werewolf Chicks Have Lots of Tits”, and let me know what movies you’d like me to retread. So with a tip of my imaginary hat to Keely, Root, Kyle, Grey, Misfit Boy and all the rest this has been biguglyhairyscary saying see ya, kids…


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Movie Review of Near Dark (1987) by Eric R Lowther

Reviewed by: Eric R Lowther 

Posted by: Root Rot



Near Dark (1987)

Written by: Kathryn Bigelow and Eric Red

Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow

Hey kids, it’s Eric R Lowther aka biguglyhairyscary popping up on your screen again with a real classic this time, 1987’s “Near Dark”, directed by Kathryn Bigelow and written by Eric Red and Bigelow. 1987 also gave us another little vampire movie you may have heard of; “The Lost Boys”. Between them, these two films established many of the “violent-yet-cool-vampire” genre archetypes, stereotypes, and plot elements that continue to influence today’s genre efforts. But where “The Lost Boys” showed us how just oh-so-fucking-cool it would be to be a vampire, “Near Dark” gave us a much more gritty, harsh and violent depiction of a vampire cell. Basically, the kiddies and the 80’s hip had their vampire movie in “The Lost Boys”, the traditionalists had 1985’s “Fright Night” to fall back on, and the rest of us violence-loving, gore-hounding social misfits had “Near Dark”.

Synopsis

Caleb (played by television veteran Adrian Pasdar) is a young and rowdy cowboy-type out for a night on the… er, well, “town” may be too far-reaching a description for an Oklahoma night, so let’s just say he runs into hot little blonde number Mae (Jenny Wright of “Lawnmower Man” and “St Elmo’s Fire” fame). Caleb senses there’s something different about this girl, though that doesn’t stop him from taking her out for a drive in the country where she waxes poetic about the night and scares the shit out of his horse. Now, guys, we’ve all had at least one night in our misspent youth where we had the one hook-up or attempted hook-up that we knew was going to go horribly, horribly wrong right from the get-go, and even though we figured out very early that we were dealing with a psycho-slut from hell we just kept going. Well, this is Caleb’s turn for that little life lesson. Their date drags on until almost dawn causing Mae to freak out and run off, but not before she bites him during a passionate embrace. Of course, Mae’s a vampire. Caleb doesn’t seem to suspect this, even though her musings about eternal life was only missing a line about wolves and the night music they make. He still doesn’t get it when she bites his neck, and he still doesn’t get it when his truck won’t start and he’s forced to walk home across a bunch of farmland while the rising sun fries him. He almost makes it home and is even spotted by his veterinarian-father (the instantly-recognizable Tim Thomerson) and his young sister, Sarah, as he stumbles across a field towards them with smoke rolling off his burning body. But just before he can reach the family farm a Winnebago roars in out of nowhere (I bet you didn’t think a Winnebago could roar in from anywhere, huh?), scoops him up and drives off into the sunrise.

Mae is there, of course, but we also get to meet the rest of our bloodsucking clan. There’s Homer, a decades-old vampire forever trapped in the body of a pre-adolescent, the group’s de facto leader, Jesse (Lance Henrikson in my most favorite Lance Henrikson role ever), his mate Diamondback (best known as tough-chick Pvt. Vasquez from “Aliens” but this time sporting an 80’s chick funky two-tone teased ‘do) and Severen (played by Bill Paxton). Now, normally I would give the honor of being the last listed to Henrikson just out of respect alone, but Paxton’s Severen completely steals every scene he’s in. All our vampires save perhaps for Mae are homicidal sociopaths that revel in their kills and blood, but where Henrikson’s Jesse is a much more layed-back and cobra-like killer, Paxton plays Severen as a wild-eyed, hell-raising, barely-controlled thrill-killer. After Mae reveals to the rest that she turned Caleb, they reluctantly take him into their clan. We do get one half-assed escape attempt out of Caleb, but he’s brought back into the fold so the clan can teach him the ways of the undead.

Hey kids! Fun fact; the smoke effect showing how Caleb’s body was getting fried in the sun was done with several lit cigars and rubber tubing hidden under his jacket. Damn but I miss the old-world craftsmanship and ingenuity of real physical effects artists…

Over the next few nights, Caleb tries to embrace his new world though he still can’t bring himself to kill for his supper, which forces Mae to limp him along from her own veins. We also get a montage or two of how the rest of the vampires procure their own meals, and these are well-done and speak more about the characters than any of their dialogue can. Meanwhile, his father and little sister embark on a multi-state search for Caleb and have no clue their son/brother has become a vampire. This leads us up to the two scenes that made this movie famous. The first of these is the attack on redneck dive bar that is completely, totally and 1000% owned by Paxton’s Severin. I’ve seen Paxton in a lot of movies over the years, and this is by far my favorite of all his performances. You really have to see for yourself just how he lets this character just take over. Henriksson also has a few shining moments in the bar, but he keeps it low-key. Severin is just a psychotic, balls-to-the-wall killer, but Jesse is just plain and simple evil. At the bar, Caleb is given his first real taste of the physical power he now holds as a vampire but also screws up and lets one of the patrons escape because he still can’t bring himself to kill.

Now with a witness to their murders, the clan flees into the night to hole up in a dingy hotel room to rest through the day and decide what they’re going to do with Caleb. This brings us to our second iconic scene; the shootout in daylight at the hotel after the police track them down. The interplay between Jesse and Severin alone is worth the watch and Caleb gets a chance to prove himself to the clan by being the catalyst for their escape while bullets punch deadly, sun-streaming holes in the walls. The scene could have become just another gunfire-siege segment popular in action movies, but the dialogue keeps us entertained and the piece is shot and edited nice and tight to keep the action going while not letting it drag on too long. But, just when it seems Caleb has made up for his sin in letting the witness escape and has full accepted his place in the clan, his human past catches up with him…

Hey kids! Fun fact; though we have 5 ½ vampires running around in this movie, the word “vampire” is actually never used in the dialogue. Go ahead and check for yourself, the rest of us are moving on.

So now we’ll move on to the nuts and bolts of the thing. This was only the second feature-length project for director Bigelow (the first being motorcycle movie “The Loveless” starring a very young Willem Dafoe) and the first with a “real” studio, the DeLaurentis Group (which went bankrupt right about the time “Near Dark” came out, robbing it of a lot of studio backing and virtually guaranteeing the film a poor box office run). I mention these things because even though this was her sophomore outing as a director she and her DP still understood how to shoot in the dark better than many of her more-experienced contemporaries. I’m sure having a cast with the likes of Henrikson, Thomerson, Paxton and Goldstein could only have helped make her job easier as well. I mean, look at that cast. With a cast like that in the 80’s, you would almost have to be an idiot, or, have producers that were idiots, or a production company that was going bankrupt to… fuck… that… up… oh, ok. Anyway, the acting is anywhere from above-average all the way up to Paxton/Hendrikson here, with even the young actress playing little sister Sarah putting in a good performance. The effects are well-done and not over-used, with just enough blood and skin burning/melting to get the point across without going overboard. In all, this is perhaps one of the better looking, sounding, and acted movies of its genre and era you’ll find.

So, on to the real question; is it any good? My only real problem with it is, frankly, the end and a few components of this vampire mythos relating to it. I don’t want to spoil this for anyone who, and I can’t understand why you would exist, hasn’t seen this one yet, so I’ll just say to watch it for yourself and see if you get the same anti-climactic and forced-ending fell that I did. Now, aside from that caveat just about any horror fan out there will find something to like about this movie. Even non-horror people that follow one of the many longstanding cast members would probably be able to get through it based on the strength of their favored actor’s performance alone. If you’re a vampire fan and you haven’t seen this one yet I would tell you that you really can’t be much of a vampire genre fan if you haven’t seen this, one of the progenitors of the modern, violent vampire tale by now. Fans of 80’s horror will eat this one up, but oddly enough save for Goldstein’s hair and a few pop culture references (such as the movie theatre marquee in town showing the movie “Aliens” which starred several of the cast members from this movie) the movie doesn’t have the “dated” quality like so many other 80’s horror films and holds up well. I think this is more due to the strength of the performances and the script than anything else. If you haven’t seen this one yet, you really need to get off your lazy ass and get to it. You can find it on Amazon and your regular online outlets for anywhere from $6 – $25 (including the Blu-ray release and a special edition with a better quality transfer and new special features), where you can also stream it for a few bucks. The movie is available to rent through Netflix but is not available for streaming there.

Well, I’m done for now. Make sure you’re checking out all the super-neato items stuffed all through this blog as well as on The Witch’s Hat family of podcasts. You can also stop by our forum over at Killer Reviews where you can chat about the shows and blog, sign a virtual get-well card for Root Rot (he left the duct tape over his nipples too long after a run and had to have it surgically removed), and let me know what movies you’d like to hear me slap around and make my bitch. So with a tip of my imaginary hat to Keely, Kyle, Misfit Boy and everybody’s favorite Carebear, Root Rot, this has been biguglyhairyscary saying see ya, kids…

(PS – Hey Kids! Fun fact; I used 47 hyphens in this review. That may be a record.)


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